My Immortal REVISED
by AcidDollFetishOriginals
Summary: You know about the infamous fiction know as "My Immortal" by one Tara Gilesbie. Well, this is My version. Something that makes sense and will be enjoyable to read in a good way. With people in character and a real plot! The point in this isn't "I'm better then Tara!" (Everyone is). This is just a fan doing what fans do, writing a Fan Fiction on something we love.
1. Chapter 1 & 2

Craving.  
Once again this craving.  
My stroll interrupted by this craving.  
I smell it all, the filth and joy of others. But no one must know, not even _him_.

"Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way!" Speak of the devil. The courtyard this large and he finds me here. He made a bee line to me; always so angry with the world around him. Always so angry with me. He swam his fingers through my hair. I can smell the malice in his Slitherin blood. Blinding pain shoot through my spine. Locks of my ebony hair were firmly clenched in his hands. He jerked my back into his chest. "You gothic whore, where have you been?! You know I hate waiting!" He whispered forcefully into my ear. "Here Draco…" Where he told me to be. Again I'm the thing he takes his hate out on. This once invisible no body of the school. "Hey Eb!"

More familiar voices call to me. I don't open my eyes. They would have been filled with tears anyway. Why cause worry and only bring more pain to Draco and, in turn, my self. He let's go and runs his fingers through my hair.

Pretending.  
Lying.  
They talk in default replays.  
Bell chimes.  
Repeat daily life.

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_**[ Chapter 2]**_

Cold.  
Why is it so frigid?  
My bed, I could almost feel it stealing what little heat I do create.  
I look around to see my room mates beds emptied. As always, their smells linger making my mouth water.  
That craving again. My haunting-

"Eb? You up yet?" _she's _here. I almost jump from under the covers when I smell the pure blood enter the dorm. Black hair peer from behind the slowly cracking door. She knew by now how to enter my room. She has the scars the show what happens when you're carless. "Willow," I smile eagerly await her. "Please come, come." She walked in and sat on the bed. I pull my way to her and drape my arms around her.  
"Mornin' Will, your a little late don't you think?" "Didn't want to interrupt if _Malfoy_ was here." she chucked. "Not funny Will, He's not one to joke about. He's-"

My nose flare as I caught the taste of her blood again pulsing though her. I couldn't stop the trembling. She noticed and shook her little head as I plead with myself to pull away from here neck. "You hungry?" She asked with a smile. I nod. She sighed and flung her wrist in front of me, "not a lot 'Kay? I do need to go about my morning too. "I chuck. She was the only one who knew my secret and my only way I can go semi- undetected in this school.  
My body pulsed.  
Teeth grew and cheeks pinking.  
I make contract and burst the flesh. Willow gasped but endured like she always did.  
Like she always will.

::Lunch::  
I scale u to the mess hall not wanting food.  
Not wanting to been enter.  
But to keep up this lie.  
Drake awaits me at the door, like he always does.

"Ebony"  
"Draco"  
"I have a question."  
"I may have an answer."  
"Don't get smart with me!" his voice echoed some into the hall some stared.

He pulled on my arm and forced me inside. People stopped looking.  
"Now then, my question. Will you come with to Hodsmeade? "  
"If I may ask, fiendish reason?"  
"a concert. Good Charlotte. You in or not?"

I feared what would happen if I said no. "Well?!" he barked. "Yes" I smile sweetly. "Of course" "Good" he pulls me into a distant, posed hug and rushed off.

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**I hope you enjoyed reading that. I'm not planning on changing much in the story; I just want it to make sense. I actually like the idea of her story. Lol and being that her spelling and grammar was worst then mine, it made me feel better about myself. Schadenfreude! I don't have a "Raven" helping me so sorry, no big A/N fights but if you need the "Stop flamin the styros you perps!" I will provide them the best I can. I don't know if this is to help her get her story across in a way others would like or just a fan's way of show some love to the most hated story in the world. More to come either way. Thanks for reading. I hope mine didn't drop your IQ like hers did. **

**Last note: I don't know the Harry Potter universe very well. If I spell something wrong or someone is out of character, 1- Blame Tara. I'm working straight off her work, 2- Sorry, really am. And 3- Help me then! Lol.**


	2. Chapter 3

[Chapter 3]

It was the night of the muggle concert. I couldn't believe I was going to see Good Chralotte. It was one of my favorite muggle bands. Being that it was a muggle concert, Head Master said that we could wear muggle clothes to the event. Most didn't have readily available clothes to wear, but I brought everything with me. I may have been a no body here, but in the muggle word…I believe I was somebody. I found a pair of my old high heel boots and laced them up over my red fishnets. I wasn't happy they were ripped but I guess they are just old. A black leather mini-dress with matching corset pattern on my top completed the outfit. I hadn't warn anything like this is so long. It felt good to not be in those robs all the time.

I was placing some lit make-up on; I hear a knock on my door. "Hey Eb! You ready to go?" I looked up to see my best friend again. She was always so loyal. "Almost, Thanks again for letting me do this. I own you one." Willow chuckled and laid on my bed, "You own me a bunch, but who's counting." I smile and nod, "Your right. How about I treat you to something sweet next time I get some spending money? Deal?" "Oh yeah!" I finish up and walk to Willow who was laying patiently for me. I inhaled her, she was afraid. I guess that would make senses. "It wont hurt that much. In fact, It should feel pretty good." I ease myself over her as my body pulses and fang jet out. I lead into her sweet scented neck and kiss it gently. "Hey! Your posts to bit me not kiss me!" "Sorry, I couldn't help myself." I take one more sniff before plunging into her soft skin. She moaned out and gripped my sheets. "Ebony! Oh god!" I pull away to see her eyes hazy and her cheeks flushed. I feel my body growing in strength. Neck blood was always better then wrist. I smiled down at Willow who had fallen asleep. "Night girl, see you in the morning." I look at my watch,"Shit!" I quickly grab my bag and run out my room.

Getting down the stairs I see him. He stood with his arms crossed over his chest will a tap in his foot. Even though over all he looked really nice, I couldn't get past his frown.

"Draco…" I try to smile.

He gripped my hair and pulled my face close to his, "You're late!"

I could smell the anger; I could feel my own fear.

"Don't do it again!"

He hissed. I nod and he pushes me off him.

"You're lucky you have me, you got that."

I nod

"Without me, you would be just a no body piece of pale shit!"

I nod again.

"I'm glad you understand. Now get in the car." I felt tears forming but I couldn't cry. This is just how he is. To know him is to love him, right?

I walk out to see a black Mercedes-Benz. The license on it was 626D6. I wonder what that meant. 6 to 62? Or maybe he was hiding 666 in some sort of code. I don't really know and I won't ask. Draco wouldn't tell me anyway. The inside of the car was nice; I didn't expect it to take off into the sky. I grip the seats as my date laughed, "You're like a muggle or something. Never seen a flying car?" I knew he thought of muggles poorly so him calling me one wasn't good. "No, sorry." "You poor sheltered girl. It doesn't matter just don't throw up on it or anything." You nod and look ahead.

We were coming close now; I could see people, lights and smoke. Draco opened the glove compartment and pulled out a couple of diamond shaped pills. "Look Ebony, I have muggle drugs." "What?!" I look at them. "LSD I think is what this is called." He smirked, "That one." I look at the pile then shook my head. He frowned, "You will take one of these or I will make you take both!" I have heard so many bad things about LSD. "Please…" "Quit your begging and do what I say!" I gulp and take the lighter shaded one. With a bit of hesitation, I pop it into my mouth and swallow it whole. Draco smiled and did the same. "This shall be fun!"

As Draco landed his car, the world was becoming a bit hazy. The bass thrummed and it felt good. I could hear the band had already begun. "Come on!" I hear as my body was being lead. The music was louder and the lights danced across the stage and sky and made pictures of hearts and flowers.

"You come in cold, you're covered in blood"

Draco grabs my waist

"They're all so happy you've arrived"

He looks so powerful

"The doctor cuts your cord, hands you to your mom"

My body was really hot and I touch his. He was just as warm as me.

"She set you free into this life."

"That Joel…I murmur…a voice has nice as his body."

I feel my hair being pulled again. My head was forced to the side as Draco closed the gap between his lips and my ear, "He's not as hot as me, is he?" "Of course not Draco," I moan out. "Good!" He releases me and we danced to the twisted notes.

The night, for how it started, was going well. I made Draco laugh a few times; he gave me some compassionate touches. We watched pink elephants dance with the band and drank some muggle beer which was really gross. The concert was coming to an end and, for once, life felt really well. "I wanna go now. Come on Ebony." I nod and hop back into his Mercedes after a few tries at finding door. It kept moving on me and apparently Draco too because he cursed at it for tricking him. Once inside, we set off. I don't know why it didn't bother me then that we were flying to the Forbidden Forest.

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**Wow, So much out of just chapter 3! Thanks for reading. I wont updat till I got 1 gud rewov! Or whatever. Lol Just kidding. Chapter 4 as soon as possible. Thanks for Reading and Review!**


	3. Chapter 4

**[Chapter 4]**

My mind was clearing of the fog and replacing it with a dull ack. I looked out the window and saw nothing but trees. Not even a flicker.

"Draco?" I asked in a whisper. "Where are we going?"

He didn't answer me. I don't know why I bothered, he never answers me. I was getting worried when he lowered the car onto the dirt floor and walked out, slamming the door behind him.

I knew I wasn't thinking straight when I stepped out too.

"What's the matter…?" I question again. He stood with is arms crossed, waiting for me but his body betrayed his stern face. He swayed and was clearly having trouble standing still. I wasn't much better.

"Ebony," He motioned with his head. I did as he wished and came closer.

"Yes?"

Draco wrapped his fingers around the front strings of my corset and pulled me to him. His eyes looked deep into mine. They looked hard and were glossed over in lust. The moon glistened in them. I could smell the malice strong on his blood. "You love me right?" I nod hesitantly. "Good."

His lips pressed against mine passionately, biting my lip until red dripped from it. It was all so fast as he thrusts me up against a tree's trunk. His tongue pushed past my bleeding lips to explore my mouth. I felt my body reacting to every touch. One hand slides up my shirt, ripping holes in my fishnets, the other laced its boney fingers thought the strings of my corset again breaking every one with a pop. My body pulsed smelling his blood presser rise. I wanted to taste how bitter he was. My useless corset fell to the dirt as his hands grip my breast. They pulled and pushed against me in the most unskilled manner. Soon his thumb and forefinger found my perked nipples. They pinched and twisted causing moans of pain. "You liked that?" He asked pulling harder. I don't voice a worded reply, it hurt so much. One of my nipples was freed as he took his other hand to my skirt. It was pulled to the ground with my corset. "You little slut, you like being exposed to me like this." He degraded me. What could I do but agree, I was being turned on by his rude ways and his blood so full of bitter darkness. The pain in my chest only moistened my panties. He was more then right and I couldn't believe it. He rubbed a hand over his tenting crouch and smirked and toothy grin. His free hand entwined itself into my ebony locks and pulled down till I was kneeling before him.

"Hand." He ordered to me. I raised it for him.

"Zipper." He ordered again. I reach for it and take hold as I pull it down.

"Touch it."

I place my hand inside to fill him. It was stiff as a rock. He shivered at my touch and deep hums came from his throat. "Go on; put it in your mouth." I did pulled it thought the hole and looked at it a moment. Liquid dripped from the tip and a steady pulse was easily felt. I didn't want the thing in my mouth though. Not only would it be my first time doing something like this, but what if I bit him? He would never want this again, he'll tell the school I'm a slut and there goes my dreams of being somebody. "Well, what are you bloody waiting for, suck it you slut." Hesitantly, I take the tip to my lips. That liquid was salty, he didn't care. Impatiently he trusted into my mouth and deep into my throat. I could breathe as he shoved into me. He pulled out as quickly as he pushed into me only to repeat the possess. I had to gasp every time he retreated. A steady rhythm was made and he was moaning out pleased words. My head was held in his hands. When his thrusts came quicker and moans came louder, he came hard into the back of my throat. I coughed and hacked. He pulled out and covered my mouth, "You swallow it. You swallow every bit or I swear." He didn't need to finish. I swallowed every drop of that salty goo. He smiled at me with a deep satisfaction. I could smell it all over him.

"Well, having forbidden fun here in the forbidden forest?" We both looked in horror,

"Head Master…" I quiver and quickly gather my clothes. "D-Dumbldore!"

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**Wow, 4 chapters in and it's already begun. I gotta headache heh! But i will pull through. Tell me what you think! I wanna know if you like it or not. Oh yeah, to you "perps" Her name is Mary- I mean- Ebnoy...Enoby? umm...crap hold on..E.B.O.N.Y...Ebony. Right, her name is Emony! Stop flamin the styro. HeeHee. Chapter 5 when i find where my brain ran of to. **


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